the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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