..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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