im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
