You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
