Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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