I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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