remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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