I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
