She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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