Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
