Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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