U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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