As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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