Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
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YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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