Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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