We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
