You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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