so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
