i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize