why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
