id be glad to
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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