i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
