Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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