OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
