he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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