I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
