dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
