never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize