So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
