Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You made out with two different species that night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
