yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
