Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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