mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
