I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
