my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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