its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
