3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
