Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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