toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize