she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
