I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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