I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
