it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
