Sry I called you an 8
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
