I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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