your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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