living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize