Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
