God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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