if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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