he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
