why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
