i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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