Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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