You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
this hospital has no fireball
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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