I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
