No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
