everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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