What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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