My room smells like vodka and shame
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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