well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize