Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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