is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
