as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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