I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize