it wasn't lemon gatorade
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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